Embody Wisdom #22. My Principles of Morality and Goodness Part 2

Sunday, May 28th 2023 (Every Sunday @6pm, UK Time)

Embody Wisdom #15. My Principles of Morality and Goodness Part 1

8. Be who you aspire to be instead of indulging in what you want.

There will be times when these two overlap, even in the principle itself, you ‘want’ to be who you aspire to be, but other times they will be different and you will have to make a difficult choice between the two. There is your character and its future or there is your desired pleasures of now. Which would you choose?

If you choose to be who you aspire to be I would argue that your wants will likely come eventually, just at a later time and you will appreciate them even more because you did the right thing and are in good character who is deserving of them. You can also still indulge in your wants if your character aspiration is aligned.

If your wants don’t come then other goods will manifest: You become who you aspire to be. You’ll possess the ability to do difficult things, to be selfless, and not be submissive to your desires. Good for others. Others will see you as good and do good by you.

And another thing to consider: When you change your character your wants may change, and you may even come to realize you do not want anything more, who you are is enough. Perhaps the reason why you want certain things to begin with is because you are not who you want to be.

9. Be in service to others and the world.

I have discussed altruism and interdependence before. You do yourself a disservice when you only serve yourself: You deny yourself a purpose, connection with others, and their help. If you lift the world above your shoulders there may come a time when it lifts you and together you float to the heavens. You depend on the world and it too depends on you.

Help those that you can help easily (ideally first). Then those you hold a bias in favour of and then those you hold a bias against. Be cheap and you will cheat yourself.

Offer wisdom and guidance to the naïve and lost. Pick up medication for the sick. Pay the homeless their humanity. Share a compliment when it appears in your mind. Give the sad a reason to smile. Give the depressed hope. Be a friend to the lonely.

You have money, time, hands, feet, a mind, and love to offer others. You decide what to offer and how much, I am not suggesting you have to give the world everything, just what you think you deserve.

10. Introspect on your lies.

I wanted to offer something more than just ‘lying is bad but sometimes good’ so what I suggest is introspection. You should know exactly why you are lying, for what purpose. Know that truth. Not all lies are bad, sometimes they will do good, but it isn’t always clear that they are bad, so tally and introspect on your lies.

If you assume you only lie for good, you may become a liar to yourself, believe your lies, and create false perceptions of the world and people. So seek the truth for your lies and keep seeking to be sure you ‘know’ (know to the best of your knowledge).

11. Pay the debts of your lies with honesty, if you do not have debts, donate with honesty.

When you lie you can fix it to some extent by being honest about it. Sometimes you may not be forgiven fully and punished some amount fairly (consequences). Accept this. Other times you may even be punished unfairly (for your honesty, lie or no lie). In the unfair case, it is up to you to which standard you wish to hold yourself to (consider principle 8), for you do not deserve unfair treatment, unless you wish you stand by a conviction.

Honesty does not just undo some lies, but it bonds people. It can grant people what they need and a sense of truth to reality. Some will not be ready for this, they are imbedded with too many lies, and how you express your honesty matters as well.

12. Cultivate an environment for others to feel safe to be honest with you.

People say they value honesty but often do not cultivate an environment for others to be honest with them (which is why people lie or withhold the truth). If you do not plant seeds or water your plants how can you say you care about them and expect them to grow? Cultivation is vital for valuing something and encourages people to do as they are cultivated for. Here are 4 ways:

Be honest yourself. People are more likely to tell you their secrets if you tell them yours first, so ‘Lead by Example!’. This will build trust, even if they do not open up to you, it will do them good to know you more deeply.

Do not punish unjustly. Too often people think of justice as punishing the wrongdoers but not often enough rewarding the do-gooders. Some truths require consequences but they should be just, not overblown. You will scare off people to be honest if you go on a tirade of punishment.

Judge fairly. It is often said it is ‘bad to judge’, I disagree. I think it is bad to judge unfairly and people actually want to be judged fairly. People do bad things often for understandable reasons. If you contextualize circumstances, approach with reasonable empathy, and offer a path of redemption (and do not punish unjustly), then people are willing to welcome that care and admit they did something bad. And to not judge others is to not think deeply of them, to not care about them.

Do not share what others will want kept private. You may share your secrets but not the secrets of others. If people listen to you share other people’s secrets then this will show them you can not be trusted with their secrets. It is your responsibility to keep matters private when people confide in you.

Final words on lying, truth, and honesty

Why is lying bad? Deception is the greatest factor and facilitator of bad acts, because it is bad in itself (hides reality) and it hides the bad acts. Ideally, you want to tell no lies, for then you do not deceive and instead discourage yourself from doing other wrongs. Not lying means you will be more likely to be punished for other bad actions you do (for example, stealing) and therefore deterred to do them. A thief that cannot lie will be brought to justice swiftly and discouraged to steal again (because they will admit when asked).

Truth and honesty are how we understand reality as it is and lying is the deceptions of it. People deserve to know the truth and to hear honest words (if they are brave enough). When people know the reality of a situation then they can appropriately face it and do good more easily.

I hope you take away some value from these principles I have offered. Many of them have greatly benefited me personally and honestly, I should reflect on some of them more to help me make good decisions in my life. You are free to disagree (principle 2) and even I may tweak my thoughts on these over time.

Good ripples like water, it settles, bad spreads like fire, it destroys. You affect the world, the little world around you but then that ripples and spreads to a larger world that you are within, then that world affects the larger one and so on until we get to the whole world as we know it. Will you burn the garden, or allow for it to burn, or will you water the plants and flames?